I Promise

A judge tries to cure stupidity one criminal at a time. If only this were all it took:

Donald Sebastian promised in court yesterday never to be stupid again. If he fails, he goes to jail.

…

The magistrate handed Sebastian a scribbled note and ordered him to read it in court. As Sebastian rose to his feet, Perelman ordered him to “say it with sincerity.”

“I promise that I won’t do anything stupid,” Sebastian said. “If I do anything stupid, I’ll likely end up in pretrial detention.”