Not So Fast

I didn’t know there was legitimate email marketing. As far as I’m concerned, unless I signed up to get emailed, it’s all spam.

Street arabs getting short shrift from Theasarus.com

I don’t know…

/domain names, we don’t need no stinking domain names

via Slashdot

Why is he still on TV?

Who knows what Israeli-made products might be laying around.

Courtney Love.

Doctor in trouble for telling a patient they were obese.

Woman goes on hunger strike to protest Minutemen.

Wall Street Journal heaps pity on the growing number of singles in America.

Even if you discount the college graduates who paint the town every night before crashing happily at their first pad, you’re left with a huge number of people who have found companionship and lost it or are still looking for someone to share their life with. They may not be miserable or call themselves lonely, although many senior citizens do use those words. But most probably are missing something, and we don’t mean the better health and the longevity boost that scientists have associated with marriage and other forms of intimate living.

*sniff* Ain’t dat touchin’ Can you say “projection”? I knew you could.

Normally I’d call this sort of a thing an overreaction, but if that’s what it takes to keep a gay Batman out of the world of Art, I don’t mind so much.

Find the registered sex offenders in your neighborhood.

The south is rising again. Way, way south. And west.

Nice plan

Careful where you post, kids.

/Brion? Sounds like some nerve part.

Remember back in the day when the Walkman was going to cause massive hearing loss?

My bulbs always burn out when I’m turning them on. I don’t need to be texted to be told that; the bright flash, the funny noise, and then the absence of light give it away.

/semicolons; is there ever a right time to use them? I don’t know.

Surgery over the internet. Hmm. I can see where video game skills could come in handy for this sort of thing. I’m going to go play Unreal.

Introducing big animals to North America.

Princess Bride: The Musical

Why good quality coffee and knowing how to make it is so important.

Who can resist creating a proper tag Princess Sparkle Pony?

Let me help explain how so much stuff gets confiscated. I had a cresent wrench in the bottom of my backpack.

A. I had no idea it was there.
B. Even if I had known it was there, it never would have crossed my mind that it was confiscatable. What am I going to do with it? Loosen key bolts? Threaten to squish the pilot’s nose?

I have no idea how people forget they are trying to carry guns onto a plane though. I carefully pack my pocket knives and pointy things in my carryon checked luggage.

Cameroon needs our help.

So, I’m not getting an Xbox 360 because there’s no way I’d spend that kind of money just to play Halo 2, but for those that may care…

I want more than edible out of my food.

We’re talking about vehicles over 4 tons. What percentage of the car population are those?

Arafat poisoned?

How do they vaccinate birds?

The Dutch Agriculture Ministry decided on Tuesday to make farmers keep all poultry indoors to prevent contact with migrating birds from Russia.

EU authorities said they have no plans to increase vaccine stocks if the disease were to arrive.

Weird . And rather speculative.

Journalism as a profession. The comments are just as interesting as the post. Well, for a while anyway.

A fantastic headline.

Atomic decay and interpersonal relationships. All part of the Grand Unified Theory.

So long as they were still willing to accept partners who met only a fraction of their criteria, the number of potential matches remained the same.

Somehow the HuffPo bloggers have managed to moved on from all Plame, all the time; and are swarming on that Cindy lady. What about Plame, kids? Maybe if you did both at the same time you wouldn’t seems so frighteningly monomaniacal.

Gay rights activist warning two guys against getting married.

Words of warning came from Toronto lawyer Bruce Walker, a gay and lesbian rights activist.

“Generally speaking, marriage should be for love,” he said. “People who don’t marry for love will find themselves in trouble.”

As opposed to those who do marry for love, that usually goes so well.

via Instapundit

WWII chat log.

Danger lurks all around Post Falls.

Conveniently, The Donald and his staff’s ideas are all aphorisms.

I feel better. Also; Fedex, furniture, DCMA, and trademark infringement.

How far will they go? You! sit up straight!

New and improved alarm clock.

Wouldn’t the threat of nuking Mecca should America be attacked by a nukuler bomb be the equivalent of M.A.D., just on a smaller scale?

Why or why not? Please print clearly.

I’m pretty sure this recipe is missing something.

Self-destructing. Cool.

Suprisingly, the peace treaty with the SPLA is still holding.

The supressing part doesn’t really bother me. 50,000 pages? That’s excessive. Just think of the time spent writing and reading them.

I’m working on radio programs for SEPTEMBER! Where has this year gone?!

just standing there, looking at my tomato plant. No ripe tomatoes yet. I just barely touched the biggest tomato and presto! it fell off. Bummer. Then I had a happy thought. Fried green tomatoes. Those wacky southerners are really on to something. So tasty.

It’s stunning!

Family Time!

There’s money in that.

The declines were largely the result of the company’s decision to eliminate late fees on video rentals, which cut into overall revenue.

Imagine the level of boredom necessary to accomplish this.

The rest of the article, not so much, but this was funny:

A congressionally appointed envoy to the United Nations should not be a swaggering cowboy, but rather a nurturing, multi-breasted nursemaid upon whose giant teats developing third-world countries can perpetually suckle. Unless I am mistaken, John Bolton has no teats. All he has is a string of Top 40 hits and some rather intimidating facial hair.

You’re cut too, shushie!

Heh. Is effectuate a word? Yes, yes it is.

via Instapundit

Let this be a lesson to you.

If only they could get at all that money I keep hearing they have in the bank. Please send your bank account numbers and passwords now.

Moore’s law and the blogosphere.

If you’re looking for a squishy fridge, look no further.

March of the Penguins. Something more Wagnerian perhaps.

What’s with the Buzz Lightyear pic? And if they need volunteers, I’ll go.

The future is now. And, oh yeah, they’ve been doing it for a while, just didn’t tell you.

It makes me nervous when Ebay sellers say that their product is authentic.

The Federalist Society is a secret organization on par with the Freemasons?

Its founding principles include promotion of limited government, separation of powers, the rule of law, individual freedom, and “the idea that the courts should say what the law is, not what it ought to be.”

Say it ain’t so!

He has a point. It wasn’t until I got out of high school and started reading classics on my own that I figure out why classics are classics. They are so well-written and enjoyable to read that they are worth reading hundreds of years later. I had no idea. Had I not been bored enough while wandering around Barnes & Noble, I never would have known.
Continue reading →

Election 2008 hopeless hopefuls.

In fact, a glance at the current crew of presidential hopefuls in both parties reveals a crew heavy on legislators, unelected technocrats, and former political stars in varying stages of reputational decay.

So, it’s the end of the current Ice Age?

Can’t we all just get along?

“Scored higher that 4%” Hmph!

CHERRY GARCIA! You scored 59% SWEET, 51% CHUNKY, and 48% UNIQUE!

cherry sweet cream base with cherries and fudge chunks Awesome…you are one of my personal favs: Cherry Garcia. You fall in the middle on all measurements- sweet, wild, and unique, but not overwhelmingly so on any of those. You make a good friend, able to share your unique perspectives on things, and able to have fun without winding up in jail or something. Good job.

Something to live your life by.

Popstrology is the science of the pop stars — a revolutionary method for gaining self-knowledge by examining the alignment of the pop music charts on the date of your birth.

Johnny Nash – I Can See Clearly Now.

Yeah, it’s all so clear to me now.

Okay, so someone gave me a Viewsonic VX900 LCD monitor. And the reason they gave it to me is because it won’t display for more than one second. Powers on fine, everything acts normal, it looks great for that 1 second. Just no picture after 1 second. If I shut it off and turn it back on, 1 second. Which is a really hard way to get anything done. Teh Google, she does nothing. I am mostly unwilling to spend money on it. Any help?

UPDATE: All I had to do was ask. Teh google, she came through. Actually Ebay clued me in, but that’s beside the point. I’m inclined to believe it’s the backlight inverter. So, $79 + shipping for an inverter or let it sit and collect dust for free. Tough call.

FURTHER UPDATE: Moniserv has got the corner on the online backlight inverter market. Does no one else make them? The best I can hope for is $2.00 break on shipping. Where’s the competition? I want a cheap Chinese made alternative. Nothing personal, Moniserv employees. Love Hayward. And by “love” I mean when I was a kid I knew people that lived there and visited them several times. Got the wind completely knocked out of me by a softball there once. Stinking Lyle.

I don’t know, that just sounds wrong. No matter what it’s for.

Moderate drinking good for the thinking?

The survey was conducted on more than 7000 Canberra and Queanbeyan residents. They were sober at the time.

That was my question.

Link Fixed. Carry on.

Frank J., whose page is completely whacked in Opera, solves all America’s foreign policy problems.

With a fantastic picture of Ted Kennedy.

President Bush should stop running from his responsibility and make sure that all American children have access to physical fitness programs.”

Programs? Let the kids go outside and play. Ta-da! Physical fitness program! And it didn’t take the President of the United States getting involved. If you’re so willing to abdicate responsibility for your life that the President of the United States of America has to personally attend to your children’s fitness needs, you are living in the wrong kind of country.

Scrappleface says it better.

It’s not the dress.

On the other hand, it’s good to live in a country where being fat is a national crisis. A lot of more serious things (sanitation, infrastructure, poverty, revolution, rule of law) obviously aren’t a major problem.

Here’s a writing award I stand a chance of winning.

As I looked out across the verdant lawn and saw the traffic piling up behind the stoplight that some lame-o engineer deemed should turn red whenever traffic approached, that’s when I noticed the small green lump.

UK IT workers are a whiney bunch.

Also, there aren’t enough of them.

Ah, Post Falls.

So clever, them Joooos.

Why we fight, why they fight

Oh well. Good luck to the winners.

IE 7 Beta Reviews.

Why would you want museum habitues to wander around naked?

A muslim condemning muslim leaders for a lack of condemnation of terrorist bombings.

Helpful hints for dealing with letters from the IRS.

Yeah, and Alec Baldwin was was going to leave the country if Bush got elected.

It’s been a while, so here’s what’s on my mp3 player. Fascinating, I know. I noticed a lot of The Cure. I must be depressed.
Continue reading →

Inflationary trends.

It’s everywhere I’ll never be. And they’re snobby about the browser too. Jerks.

It’s hard being a Senator.

Ethiopian man realized too late that more isn’t always better.

“I know I have done wrong by marrying many wives and begetting many children but I think I deserve help from the government.”

Preach it, brother.

Finally I went to the lake. Yeah, hanging out with the beautiful people. The water temperature was loverly, seemed a bit chilly getting in, but it wore off quickly.

In case you are wondering, swimming in a lake is different than swimming laps in a pool. There’s no convienent place to rest every couple hundred meters. I think I’ll stick with the running.

Avian flu again. But my point for posting this is to ask, if we are ready and prepared for a pandemic aren’t we wasting resources the whole time there isn’t one? Which would be the last…minus 5…carry the 3….87 years, so far.

I’d rather wait for the Americans to do it, I trust them to get me back more than the Russians. But to go to the moon? If I had the money, it sure would be tempting.

Well then, I’ll never buy their booze.

Use the socks and sandals guys. No one would ever drink again.

I await the upsurge in crime this causes.

via Huffington Post

It’s just a matter of time.

In another crash, Stone broke his neck. It hasn’t stopped him.

via The Corner

So wrong, on so many levels.

For all your Yak Shaving needs.

I’m annoyingly sarcastic and not very approachable or popular, but other than that…

the Ham (26% dark, 47% spontaneous, 11% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT Your style’s mostly goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple & silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Will Ferrell – Will Smith

via Pete

We’re testing one of these, so I have to set it up. But, it’s been a slow news day anyway.

Huffington Post Lag or HuffLag, in the vernacular.

Reminds me of my high school biology/oceanography teacher. Well, not on close inspection, but at a glance.

I’m switching back to Opera. I’ll miss Forecast Fox and Flashblocker, but, goshdarnit, I like Opera better.

Wouldn’t there have to be something on Mars for us to contaminate? If there’s no life there, what difference does introducing Earth organisms make? Maybe we should find out if we actually have a problem before we spend time and money to fix it.

And I just had to have it.

/funniest Carol Burnett. Skit. EVAR.

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you. I love those commercials.

Mars has been really cold a really long time.

The House extends the Patriot Act. It is nice to see Democrats worried about civil liberties. If we could get both sides worried at the same time, we might be on to something.

This is getting closer to this.

Yeah, there’s syllogisms and ontological arguments and culture and yak shaving, but Joe is really at his best with the comedy.

Do stores ever sell boysenberries in the produce section? Or do they only exist to flavor yogurt?

The triumph of the neocon foreign policy.

The iDJ. Sweet.

Australia’s prime minister John Howard answering a question.

The new London bombings.

There’s a nice little fire burning on the side of Seltice just to the east of Harpers. Lots of cops and Fire & Rescue, but when I went past part of it was still just burning away.