Not So Fast

Jonah Goldberg has an opinion about the Michael Newdow case.

Crabwalk, heh.

New studies reveal cavemen were bad at cooking.

The technique showed the bones had been heated to temperatures usually only achieved in hearths, double the 300C typical of a forest or brush fire, providing compelling evidence of the earliest recorded controlled use of fire by humans.

600 celsius? According to Google that’s 1112 farenheit. Talk about your rare meat. Oh, sure you could get a nice sear, but then what. Where was Food Network when they needed it? Alton Brown would have straightened them right out.

Read this article.

The minister, Abdi Jimale Osman, can’t understand this. “I’m sure tourists would leave Somalia alive and I’m hopeful they wouldn’t be kidnapped,” he is reported as saying. “At least, we would try to make sure they were not kidnapped, though it can happen.”

via Dave Barry

String section says it deserves more money than the brass section.

“Of course strings are in action more than the brass,” said Gerald Mertens, a union spokesman. “But any violinist not happy with that should have taken up the trumpet at music school.”

Glenn is funny when he gets riled up. But he has a good point.

Fine, no one can get married.

The last marriage licenses were handed out in Benton County at 4 p.m. local time (7:00 p.m. EST) on Tuesday. As of Wednesday, officials in the county of 79,000 people will begin telling couples applying for licenses to go elsewhere until the gay marriage debate is settled.

Too late for everyone to get their free shrimp from Long John Silver’s, NASA announces there may have been salty seas on Mars.

I still love this quote:

“It’s not a matter of ‘if,’ it’s just a matter of ‘when’ human beings are able to live permanently on Mars. Long John Silver’s mission is to feed people with delicious seafood wherever they are — on earth or even outer space.”

Poor New Zealand, they could use some freedom.

New Zealand’s Economic Development Ministry has suggested a review of the country’s Copyright Act that would allow a CD buyer to make a single copy for their own personal use.

I’m glad I live in America.

Why does everyone keep saying Kerry was skiing last week? The picture I saw showed him on a snowboard. That’s called snowboarding. Apples and oranges kids.

Forget the diet and exercise. Just start saving money.

I have joined the 21st Century. I now have cable internet. The cable guy had the coolest accent, British or something. That’s not what you expect from a cable guy in north Idaho. Now I can only hope Comcast crosses over to Idaho and Adelphia is forced to lower it’s prices. But life is good. I am currently downloading all those little programs that make life so much better but take too long on dialup. You know; critical update this, virus definitions that, silly stuff.

Go, little martian rover, go!

Andromeda goes to Sci-Fi. I am willing to admit I liked the first two seasons. The third season lost me though.

You know how they’re always saying you should eat healthy and excercise to avoid the heart diseases that kill more Americans than everything else? Don’t believe them.

I rest my case.

A do-not-miss Bleat today.

Doubleplus ungood thoughtcrime – sorry, sorry, I mean false definitions of freedom that are really about slavery, don’t you see? Slavery to old ideas that keep the new world – which is right around the corner, brother – from coming into being. It’s a world with full employment, and no industry. It’s a world of endless abundance and prosperity, without capitalism. It’s a world that has some Jews, but we’re not sure where they are and anyway they don’t count much anymore. It’s a world where the people of Iraq own the oil, and incidentally nothing runs on oil anymore, because it’s poison. It’s a world where everything in the West is so cool that China is shamed by our example and totally gets out of Tibet. Without a shot. Which would totally annoy the NRA if they knew it was coming, which it is.

Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather.

Quorn.

via Fark

I hope to be back this afternoon. But in the meantime, yay!

And uh-oh.

Okay, what is with the whole two paragraphs per page articles. I’m on a dialup here. I don’t have the bandwidth to be loading half a dozen pages to find out if your article is going to tell me what I want to know. Geez. Is all that text slowing the page load down even more than the dozen banner ads are already doing? I miss the good old days when it was nothing but line upon line of text. And the rainbow bullet point.

So last night I come home from dinner, excited to continue my way up the Unreal Tournament ladder, I push the power button on my computer, and…nothing. Really, really nothing. Stupid power supply burned out. So today I got to go to Best Buy and pick up a new one. Can you tell the difference?

Now I must go beat the tar out of various ugly aliens and people.

It’s like in those movies when you think the monster is really bad but the heroes might just destroy it, but then it suddenly gets ahold of some radioactive substance and grows to 3 times it size and starts tossing the heroes around like rag dolls. The horror, the horror!

Darn butterflies, if they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.

The latest Bagle worm doesn’t even need to be clicked on to work.

Another journalist confuses his career with that of a novelist.

The newspaper also said “the evidence strongly contradicted” other published accounts by Kelley: that he spent the night with Egyptian terrorists in 1997; met a vigilante Jewish settler named Avi Shapiro in 2001; watched a Pakistani student unfold a picture of the Sears Tower and say, “This one is mine,” in 2001; interviewed the daughter of an Iraqi general in 2003; or went on a high-speed hunt for Osama bin Laden in 2003.

I’m willing to admit that this is a tragic consequence of American Imperialism&trade.

While the canned luncheon meat will forever be ridiculed by fans of the British comedians, it is a much loved staple in the Philippines.

It must be nice to be so wanted.

Ebay has everything you could possibly need. Especially if you find a stash of Soviet ICBMs and can’t find the keys.

via Fark

The Command Post is the place to go for updates on the surrounded dude in Pakistan.

High value target surrounded in Pakistan.

Pakistani officials said they believe Al Qaeda’s No. 2 Ayman al-Zawahri

Of course, I trust Pakistan about as far as I can throw their nuclear weapons program.

This is really cool, but I bet it gets annoying always being available after a while.

via Slashdot

The next generation Pengiun/Abomidable Snowman game is now available. PB: 416.82

Just so you know, Unreal 2004 should be out tomorrow. Probably you should get in line tonight.

Google is taking over THE WORLD.

Part three of the ongoing look at North Korea at National Review.

I knew there was something like this going on.

According to Rumsfeld, the finest students of every martial philosophy traveled from around the globe to take part in the tournament. While some come only to pursue the honor of the title of King Of Eagle Fist, others see the event as a chance to pursue shadowy motives of personal gain, ambition, and revenge.

Just run bin Laden over.

Just so you know, if you put a freezer ziploc bag in the microwave, the printing melts and bonds with the other side of the bag, forcing you to tear the bag open and making the hot dog taste slightly funny.

This message has been brought to you by the voice of experience and the letter y

Looks like another domino is teetering. Iran is in trouble.

via The Corner

Mark Steyn and Victor Davis Hanson.

A roundup of quotes from Mark Steyn over at Right Wing News.

Facts and opinions.

This guy thinks Americans have a right to shock jocks. It seems like Americans have more rights than a John Birch convention.

via Fark

They must not be very clear when they recruit people for the Army that they might be involved in wars. I would think it would go without saying, but maybe I’m unusually perceptive.

Again he strikes the nail on the head.

Which is why her approach to leftovers baffles me. I am opposed to leftovers. I believe the only food that should be kept around is takeout Chinese, which contains a powerful preservative chemical called ”kung pao” that enables it to remain edible for several football seasons.

Amen. If it’s not gone by the end of the meal, throw it away.

Beware the Ides of March.

Canada likes the US. The US picks Britian instead. Neener-neener.

“If you did a Family Feud-style poll and you said `Other than the United States, name countries,’ the average American could probably get to 12,” he said. “Britain’s definitely one of them. But if you ask them England against Scotland, you start puzzling them.”

Survey says…

I don’t know if blogs are this important, but it’s something to think about.

via Instapundit

A new planet-like thing rotating around the sun has been found. Having run out of cool names, they went with Sedna.

Sedna, I’m glad I met ya’.

Jeff Jarvis wants more pieces of the 9/11 wreckage on display. And I say he’s right.

This week will probably be weak sauce. Now, since it seems that predictions like this are followed by the greatest stuff ever, take it with a ounce of prevention. Or something like that.

Color photography from Russia from the turn of the century. The 1900 one, not the 2000 one.

In my continuing effort to be super-helpful, here is a great way to keep track of calories and such.

And I don’t want to hear you IE users complaining about the popups. You can download Opera or Mozilla at any time.

Houston to start rewarding city workers based on merit. Novel concept. Isn’t that how everyone does it?

“It may seem like a revolutionary idea in government, but it’s what private companies do,” he said. “For too long, good workers were not rewarded, and bad workers were not punished. In order to develop a good workplace, you need to give people incentive.”

Sad, sad, sad.

Minnesota food stamp recipients may be forced to avoid junk food. I tried, but I can’t get too upset about this. Get off welfare and you can buy what you want.

LaShawn Barber has a post on the collapse of American culture, a review of Uncle Sam’s Plantation, and lots more blogoliciousness. Check it out.

This cooperation between nations on a matter of such vital importance brings a tear to my eye.

via Fark

Oy.

I can’t believe this is news to them. Insert obvious British teeth joke here.

VDH:

So here we are a year later. We fuss about the WMD “myth”; enemies scramble over its reality. We talk of our theft of third-world resources — and pay more for gas than ever before while the price of Iraq’s national treasure soars. We worry that we are too involved abroad; those in Europe, Afghanistan, and Iraq claim there are not enough of us over there. And we scream at each other that we are not liked, even as those overseas express new respect for us.

Don’t forget VDH has a website.

The “Winds of Black Death” strike is coming to America soon. Go ahead and try punks.

Tyrants, dictators, and evil rulers everywhere are nervous these days. And that’s a good thing.

Okay, this is just too much. People, it’s just a game.

via Fark

Some people are worried about their property rights, on the moon.

Probably.

Advertising in space.

via Fark

Exoskeleton by Berkeley.

What it won’t do is turn you into a Borg, the gadget-happy gladiators of “Star Trek” fame.

Eh, forget it then.

Ebay vs. Apple. Shipping on Apple is 1-3 weeks out. Apparently it’s worth $50 to not have to wait. Amazing.

Cheney yucking it up.

via IMAO

Are there no community sports? And the public libraries? Are they still in operation? Let the students go there and get it over with.

Contra Costa school district to try spending their money teaching students, apparently.

Maybe we can go back to Orange Alert. I like Ernie better.

Mountain Dew Livewire is coming back. I’m shocked, shocked.

Victor Davis Hanson has a website, finally.

via Pete

I just paid $30 for ~16 gallons of gas. I miss the good old days, when I could get leaded gas for $.95 a gallon.

And you kids get off my lawn.

New and improved.

Breaking two world records, the demonstration OLED device is now fully functional as a 24-inch x 24-inch panel, which produces 1,200 lumens of light with an efficacy of 15 lumens per watt (on par with today’s incandescent bulb technology). This latest breakthrough demonstrates that the light quality, output and efficiency of OLED technology can meet the needs of general illumination. Based on the dimensions of a room, the desired level of brightness can be increased or decreased depending on the number of 24 in. x 24 in. panels installed

I want my paper thin monitor.

More killer computers.

The Center for Disease Control, which you think would worry about, you know, diseases, has apparently run out of diseases to worry about.

“Obesity has got to be job No. 1 for us in terms of chronic diseases.”

It’s a disease? How do you get it?

Okay, this is just funny. Of course it is, it’s Scott.

If you want to eat healthy, DON’T EAT AT McDONALDS. Now, I don’t want to hear any more about this.

And just so you know, I’ll be having an emergency steak dinner tonight at Wolf Lodge. Mmmmm. Steak.

Gamer died after marathon game.

An employee at the cafe said he would play for more than 10 hours a day and was found dead on Saturday morning after a marathon 20-hour session, the newspaper said.

You should never increase your game time by more than 10% a week. Everyone knows that.

Chubby churchgoers.

This bugs me though:

As part of his “Body for God” sermon series, his wife cooked on stage, showing how changing a few ingredients in a meal could cut the fat grams.

Church is for fellowship, prayer, and teaching the bible. Food Network is for teaching how to cook.

Dave Barry:

Q. Speaking of pig flatulence, what is our political leadership in Washington doing about the deficit problem?

A. Both the Democrats and the Bush White House are setting aside their partisan differences and working together on a courageous, long-term solution to the looming financial crisis, even if this requires them to make unpopular decisions in the short term.

Q. Ha ha! Seriously, what are they doing?

A. They’re being total slime-weasels. They’re spending MORE. They’re pandering their brains out. The Republicans just added a hugely expensive new drug benefit for senior citizens, which the Democrats have bitterly criticized because it isn’t expensive ENOUGH.

I believe he has captured the essence of it.

Iraq’s new constitution. Check out Article 7.

On the internet, in a handy graphic view.

via Fark

Aristide want you to know he’s still in charge.

Chavez, president of Venezuela, keeps threatening the US. I have no idea why, but it’s pretty funny.

Tribal folks in Pakistan may or may not be helping hunt down Osama.

Observers of Afghan tribal politics note that the spirit of apparent co-operation among the tribal leaders has come only after several months of arm-twisting from the Pakistani government.

Poor things.

14. We have always been able to reproduce DNA in the laboratory.
15. Wars begin and end quickly; peace-keeping missions go on forever.
16. There have always been ATM machines.
17. The President has always addressed the nation on the radio on Saturday.
18. We have always been able to receive television signals by direct broadcast satellite.
19. Cities have always been trying to ban the possession and sale of handguns.

Misunderstood introverts. Amen, brotha.

It’s Spam’s 10th birthday. If I’d know it was your birthday I would have baked a cake.

Five planets will be visible, assuming that it’s not snowing, in the night sky.

If you don’t notice time, time won’t notice you.

Yah! We rock.

VDH:

The United States is waking up from a serious malady. Once upon a time state-supported terrorism was seen as a criminal problem, not war, requiring yellow police tape, not GPS bombs. Afghanistan was turned into an anti-American terrorist base. Saddam Hussein required never-ending patrols to “box” him in. Osama bin Laden was too “hot” to be apprehended when offered up by potential captors. Pakistan and North Korea went nuclear — the greatest failure of many of the Clinton administration. Iran and Libya bought arsenals with impunity. Yasser Arafat systematically destroyed twenty years of economic progress on the West Bank and violated every accord he signed. Anti-Americanism grew in Europe without rejoinder or consequences. Saudi Arabia expected protection while our own female soldiers on patrol there hid their faces and arms — and promised not to drive. Terrorist funds flowed freely throughout the globe, as anti-Semitism and Islamicist-inspired hatred of Israel became the new pillar of trendy left-wing thought. All that has at least been recognized, checked, and is well on the way to being stopped.

Russia (evil reg. req) had its hand in the cookie jar.

In an effort to help mankind, here is a great site that I found very informative.

It must be time for the annual, “OMG (G as in “gosh”), gas prices are going through the roof”. I want my free Iraqi oil. I know that’s why we invaded, er, liberated them.

This is odd. I wouldn’t want a record of my life laying around. How dull would that be.

By Dick Morris.

Some of those who have Bush’s ear may urge him to speak more about the economy and less about terror. This would be a big mistake. Bush must use his profile as president to make Americans understand how crucial staying the course in the war on terror is to our safety. Bush has lost a lot of support among women with the war in Iraq. But he can restore that support by stressing the need to make America safe from terror attacks and to stress how important it is to stick to this task.

via Drudge Report

Frank Answers questions you never cared about:

George S. at 16 floors above street level, Central Texas writes:
I understand downloading copyrighted music from the Internet is illegal, but is it immoral? If immoral, is it a venial sin or a mortal sin? Isn’t downloadable music really a public good, as my enjoyment of it does not lessen another person’s enjoyment of it and it is cost prohibitive to prevent folks from downloading music? I’ve got to go to confession soon, so I need to know whether this is a sin or not.

I find the best way to deal with moral issues is to not think about them; then you don’t have to worry about guilt or nothing.

Now quiet; Metallica has just started up on my playlist

Spyware programs already ask if you want to install them, for the most part. And people naturally just click yes.

The Terror Exchange. I don’t know how well it will work without actual financial incentive.

Wondering why the US went to Haiti? There’s no oil there. But there’s plenty in Venezuela, isn’t there? It’s no coincidence. *cough*Halliburton*cough*

This is awesome.

5. Seriously, who wants to give Dick Cheney a heart attack?

6.Was: Presidential debates. Is: Presidential debates. . . on ice!

The new nickels are coming!

The back of the new nickels now headed into circulation bear the words “United States of America,” “Louisiana Purchase” and “1803.” There is an image of hands clasped in friendship — one with a military cuff to symbolize the U.S. government, and the other with an ornate bracelet to represent American Indians.

I thought we got the Louisiana Purchase from the French? Napoleon and all that. Those people at the mint should have payed more attention in history class.

Slashdot says this Japanese robot for the home will be available soon. Here’s a video. Looks like fun.

Near as I can tell, they play rap at high volumes and it causes the atoms to implode. And who can blame the poor atoms.

Godzilla is retiring.

The odds, apparently are 16-1 that there could be life on Mars.

I say you have better odds of this happening.

No more Super-size fries, you’ll have to buy two mediums. How sad.

How to spot a Straussian. As a warning, the comments sucked the fun right out of the post, skip them.

What is wrong with Bush? Does he want to lose? Or is he planning that it won’t pass the House and it will be a moot point?

“It didn’t work and it isn’t necessary,” said Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig, who has led the floor fight against gun control.

Hey, my elected representative is representing me! What a refreshing change of pace.

I will not eat them on a train, I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a box, I will not eat them with a fox.
I will not eat them here or there, I will not eat them anywhere.
I will not eat green eggs and ham, I will not eat them Sam I Am.

Dr. Seuss (evil reg. req.) is getting a postage stamp, a star on the Walk of Fame and a statue. Considering that’s all the poetry I ever memorized, I figure he deserves it.

via Fark

An interesting article on the Senate’s money-making ability.

via Instapundit

Mars once had water. Lots and lots of water.

That does not mean that evidence of life has been found — but it suggests that life could have evolved on Mars just as it did on Earth, NASA said.

It does mean NASA can go ahead with a plan to eventually send people to Mars.

Two questions:

1. What are the odds of life evolving on two planets in one solar system?

2. What difference to future missions does finding water make?

Are these people so stupid they can’t see the difference between a war criminal and Tony Blair? Well, yes, apparently.

Paul McCartney is releasing a new DVD! About a couple of squirrels!

Evangelical Outpost asks a question concerning Instapundit:

Am I wrong in expecting him to address his critics?

Well, yes. But since it’s late, I’m going to pontificate. Blogs exist as a way for the author to get their point across, whatever that point may be. And just because Instapundit gets what? 10,000 times the traffic I do, doesn’t obligate him to address his critics any more than I am obligated. If he (or I) want to take on the critics, fine and dandy, but if not, why should he? If you want fair and balanced watch FoxNews.

I’ve heard nothing but good about the Shure E3c earphones. If only I had $180. They make more expensive ones too, the E5c. And cheaper ones, the E2c. I would welcome the opportunity to try them out, if anyone wants to buy me some. Take your pick, I’m not that particular.

Low-carb diets could put you in a bad mood. I know Atkins believers annoy me tremendously.

I’ll go eat some ramen.

NASA is having a news conference tomorrow to announce they found water.